Friday, April 24, 2015

Happy birthday, little one

I felt you first.  I remember the first time, you moved in me.  It was like we were having a secret conversation and I cherished it so much.  Throughout the weeks prior to your arrival you became more and more active and I loved being able to let Daddy feel you move too.  No longer were you just the size of a pea, but you were growing each and every week until you were the size of a watermelon!

I read book after book.  I made freezer meals, cleaned my house, washed all your tiny clothes, and waited.  Could you tell I was scared?  I would talk to you and imagine what it would be like to finally hold you in my arms.

But then you were here.  Eighteen days early, on a beautiful spring afternoon.  They placed you in my arms and I sobbed.  I felt my heart do the something I didn't know was possible - it grew.  I counted your finger and your toes, I kissed your tiny lips and stroked your baby soft skin.  It was love at first sight.

We brought you home and despite all the books and article I had read, I still felt so unprepared for motherhood.  Nobody tells you about the countless sleepless nights, of the baby cries that hurt your heart, or the thoughts of  
                                        Am I doing this right?
                                       Is he in pain?
                                      Does he know how much I love him?
                                      Will I ever feel like I have this motherhood thing down?
This last year we have grown together -you and I and we are still continuing to do so.  I have realized that I would do anything to make you happy, and that that makes me happy.  Nobody could have prepared me to understand all the love I would feel for you.  And I don't know that I can begin to put it into words.  You are my sunshine on a cloudy day and my rainbow after the storm.  You are my little buddy and I look forward to seeing you grow.

I birthed and made you, but you -- you made me a mother and that is a title that will always be most dear to my ears.

Happy Birthday, little one.

Your Mommy

1 comment:

  1. Loved this post, Nicole! You are such a beautiful writer, and you can tell it's straight from the heart. ..I am so proud of the good little mommy you are! Keegan is a very fortunate little guy to have so many people that love him so much!
    Love being a Grandma! There are no words to describe... God knew what He was doing by giving us sweet grandchildren in our lives! Makes life sooo sweet!


Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Pin It button on image hover