I felt you first. I remember the first time, you moved in me. It was like we were having a secret conversation and I cherished it so much. Throughout the weeks prior to your arrival you became more and more active and I loved being able to let Daddy feel you move too
. No longer were you just the size of a pea, but you were growing each and every week until you were the size of a watermelon!
I read book after book. I made freezer meals, cleaned my house, washed all your tiny clothes, and waited. Could you tell I was scared? I would talk to you and imagine what it would be like to finally hold you in my arms.
But then you were here. Eighteen days early, on a beautiful spring afternoon. They placed you in my arms and I sobbed. I felt my heart do the something I didn't know was possible - it grew. I counted your finger and your toes, I kissed your tiny lips and stroked your baby soft skin. It was love at first sight.
We brought you home and despite all the books and article I had read, I still felt so unprepared for motherhood. Nobody tells you about the countless sleepless nights, of the baby cries that hurt your heart, or the thoughts of
Am I doing this right?
Is he in pain?
Does he know how much I love him?
Will I ever feel like I have this motherhood thing down?
This last year we have grown together -you and I and we are still continuing to do so. I have realized that I would do anything to make you happy, and that that makes me happy. Nobody could have prepared me to understand all the love I would feel for you. And I don't know that I can begin to put it into words. You are my sunshine on a cloudy day and my rainbow after the storm. You are my little buddy and I look forward to seeing you grow.
I birthed and made you, but you -- you made me a mother and that is a title that will always be most dear to my ears.
Happy Birthday, little one.
Love,
Your Mommy
