Hello Baby || Week 38

Dear Judson,

Well here we are coming down to the final stretch before we get to finally meet you.  Nine months of carrying you, through winter, spring, and now the hottest summer since forever! :)  Of course, I would do it again knowing I get to hold you in my arms soon.

Mommy never made it to week 38, with Keegan since he decided to come 18 days early, so this is new territory for me. :)  It's hard not to wish you would come early too, but I know that in God's timing you will make your grand entrance.  You have been a pretty easy pregnancy, hardly any sickness and 15 pounds less weight gain, which mommy is happy about.

These days I am just feeling rather uncomfortable and constantly thinking about you.  What will you look like?  Will you have a head full of hair, will you be a cuddler (oh, Mommy sure hopes so), will you have any birthmarks?

It's so amazing that your Daddy and I could love someone so very much that we have yet to meet, although you can be stinker.  Whenever Daddy puts his hand on Mommy's belly you start to squirm as if to say, "Get out of my personal space!" :)

A few weeks ago we were able to get some family/maternity pictures, here are some of our favorites

 Daddy, Mommy, and you! <3

 Keegan cannot wait to meet you!

{35 weeks pregnant}

We love you so much Judson!

Love,
Mommy    

PS We love everything bagels, mango smoothies, and cucumbers.  Also, ice crunching has commenced... :)

How being a mother has changed me...

I am a planner, a list maker, and at times a bit of a perfectionist.

I dislike disorganization and love following a schedule.

However 6 1/2 months ago, my life changed.

My world changed.

I really had no idea.

I imagined Jack and I with this perfect little family and our perfect

little son.  I imagined an orderly home with a happy and content baby

who would not interrupt my schedule.

Boy, was I naive!

I will never forget the first night at home.

It was well past midnight, and I was sitting in the rocker with a crying baby.

I was trying to feed him and was not having any luck.  

He was crying so loud and I did the only  thing I could...

I cried along with.

I hugged him to my body and cried out to God,

Please make him stop.

I don't know what I am doing.

Oh God, I don't know how to be a good mother.

I can't even comfort my own baby.

Please help me.

That was the first time I realized how completely helpless I was as a mother

and how very little I really knew.

It also was then that I developed a new found appreciation for my mom.

The weeks following I struggled with balancing a home, baby, and husband.

I felt like the only one I could devote my time to was the baby and I had laundry to do,

dishes to wash, and dinner to make.

I felt buried and unable to keep my head above water.

I wanted to make something special for my husband for dinner,

I wanted to crack open my day planner and schedule my week,

I wanted to shower before noon, and not walk around feeling like a zombie.

But most importantly I just wanted to be a good mother AND a good wife.

I felt like I couldn't do both.

When I couldn't dry Keegan's tears I would cry and feel utterly helpless.

This continued for a couple of months and then one day, it was like

the heavens opened and I heard God speak to me...

He said,

Nicole, you don't have to do this alone.

You don't need to be a perfect mother; just do your best and leave the rest to me.

Don't get so bogged down with the little things.

You won't always have a tidy house, perfectly fixed hair, and a month's 

schedule planned in advance.

What you do have, is a husband who adores you and a 

healthy baby who will be past the crying, fussing stage before you know it.

Enjoy these moments.

Cherish the late night snuggles.

And most importantly bring your problems to me.

And so I decided that from then on, I was going to try with the Lord's help

to not let a crying baby get me down.  To not let disorganization, or even planning

meals weigh me down.  Even if I couldn't "fix" a crying baby, or figure out why he was 

spitting up, I would not let it get me down any longer.

Being a mom has made me less organized and a whole lot less of a perfectionist.

However, being a mom has also made me more like my mother I like to think.

If you were to ask me to describe my mom in one word, it would be

unselfish.

Everything my mom did was for my sisters and I.

She went to work to help put us through the Christian school.

She made us our favorite meals, and threw us awesome birthday parties.

She put our needs above her own and was always sacrificial in her time

whether helping with school projects or 

listening to us practice speeches and reports.

I find myself going straight for the baby section every,time I am in a department store.

Gone are the days of looking through clearance racks of clothes for myself.

I, instead, am thinking,

What does Keegan need?

What would Keegan like?

Even when Keegan sleeps through the night,

I still wake up and find myself tip-toeing to his room where I will

watch him peacefully sleep.

The times we are apart, I scroll through my phone looking at

pictures of him or watching videos of him cooing.

Some days, when the dishes are piled high, and the laundry needs

to be folded, I push them aside and read a story to a baby who insists

on "reading" along.  He does not seem to mind my off tune voice

and so we sing songs and play peek-a-boo.

Being a mom is making me more unselfish.

Being a mom is making me a better person.

Motherhood is hard.  Way harder than I ever imagined.

But there is this little boy.

This little boy who from the moment he entered the world had my heart.

A little boy who is growing every day.  Growing to some day go out on his

own, marry a wife, and make me proud.

So for now, I will let the dishes wait, 

set my day planner aside,

and hold this precious baby of mine.

After all, motherhood has changed me and I am rather glad.

[photography credit: Britton and Erika Felber]

Maternity/Lifestyle Photoshoot

This may be a bit of a photo over load, but I couldn't help but want to share

some of our favorite images from our maternity/lifestyle photo-shoot taken

by Britton Felber.  As always, we were totally pleased and also had a wonderful time!

{Location:  Downtown Naperville}

Hello Baby || Week 31-32

Dear Keegan,

I am writing this blog post from my rocker in your nursery as you happily move around inside of me.  It is so wonderful to think that in just two months I will be rocking you from this spot and holding you in my arms...

We have been pretty busy getting ready for you.  Daddy and I had a maternity shoot done in Naperville; below are two of my favorites.  We had a good time picking a few to print for your nursery.

{Photography credit to: Photography by Britton}

Another fun thing we have done is registered for your baby showers.  Seems like just yesterday, Daddy and I were giddy with excitement and scanning items for our wedding registry.  Now, just 21 months later here we are still giddy but this time in anticipation for your arrival.  I dream about what you will look like and know that to us, you will be the most perfect baby in the entire world.

A couple of weeks ago, we were able to get a 4D ultra sound done.  Talk about amazing!!  We could see you plain as day.  You were behaving so well too; laying perfectly still with your hands clasped.  At one point, you even smiled and it tugged on my heart strings.  The technician also pointed out that you have hair on your head already, which Mommy is very excited about, although if you are a bald baby, I will love you all the same... :)

{We registered at both Babies R Us & Target}

Perfect little you <3

I love you with all my heart and cannot wait to meet you!

Love, 

Mommy

PS Favorite foods:  everything bagels/cream cheese and smoothies!

a year full of happinesses...

It is so hard to believe that it has already been one year since my Mr. Wonderful swept me off my feet and made me his Mrs.

I will never forget that first moment I saw him standing on that bridge - so dapper and trying to contain his excitement.

I remember while getting my hair done that morning, my hair dresser - who had just been married a month prior - giving me some advice.

Throughout the day make sure you stop yourself, look around, listen, and breathe in your surroundings.  Your wedding day will go by in a blur and before you know it you will be walking back down the aisle a married woman!

 

So that is exactly what I did.  I enjoyed my wedding day to the fullest.  I looked around, I listened to each of the songs I had picked since I was a teenage girl, and I savored each moment throughout the day.

 

Before I knew it we were kissing and being introduced as Mr. & Mrs. Jack McDonnell!

It was beautiful and wonderfully perfect in every way and I wouldn't have changed one thing about that day.

But that was not the end of our story; it was only the beginning...

We honeymooned in Florida and had a wonderful time.

Before we knew it; it was time to head back home and get settled in as husband and wife.

I know we have been married a year now, but I still feel as though I am on the honeymoon and I still have stars in my eyes.

 

God has been so good to us.  We have been able to remodel a room together, photograph ten going on eleven weddings, go on our first vacation, and become expectant parents!

A year ago I didn't think it was possible to love another being any more than I did at that moment.

But I have discovered in the last year that the day I married Jack the love I had for him was just a fraction of what it is growing to be.

 

Dear Jack,

I never knew it was possible to be as happy as I am now.

 

I never knew that marriage could be so wonderful - that God would fulfill my every dream in you.

You are my better half - you know exactly what to say to make me feel better or when to just listen.

You are a wonderful husband and you make me want to be the best wife I can be with the Lord's help.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for us in the upcoming year.

 

I know that you are going to make an excellent daddy and I cannot wait to raise our baby with you.

 

Happy Anniversary my dear, I love you!

Forever and Always,

Your Nicole